Love is Love...and the world needs more of it.

The Scissor Sisters 2004 hit “Take Your Mama” opens with the lyrics “When you grow up, livin’ like a good boy oughta, And your mama takes a shine to her best son” was co-written by Jake Shears, a vocalist in the band. The song was inspired by Shears “coming out” to his mother, whom he is close with. The lyrics describe a homosexual man showing his mother the fun activities of gay nightlife in hopes of bonding with her. It worked.

Over the past several years, and Jen can confirm this, I cannot tell you how many people have asked me if/when I was going to run for office. Others have sincerely pleaded with me to do so. Part of my standard answer is that I have way too many skeletons in my closet. There are plenty of things that belong in the closet, who you love should not be one of them.

I’ll never forget the night my brother Jimmy “came out” to me and our brother Harry. I don’t know the exact year. I think it was somewhere between 1988 and 1992. The three of us were in Shelley’s and it was a pretty busy night. It wasn’t rare for me and Harry to be there together, usually when I was DJing. However, it was odd for Jimmy to be there. It just wasn’t where he hung out. I’m not sure if he was there that night with the purpose of “coming out” or he just saw an opportunity.

I had walked over to say something to Harry who was sitting at the bar, and Jimmy came over and interrupted…that wasn’t unusual, still isn’t. I don’t remember what the conversation was about, but Jimmy suddenly and loudly said, “Danny, I’m gay”. Neither Harry nor I had any idea. Harry spun to me and said “what?”. Jimmy had this look of relief and fear on his face. Me being the type A personality told Harry to stay there and I took Jimmy outside. We talked for several minutes where the primary message was that it simply didn’t matter to me. Why would it? More importantly, why should it?

Others in my family had already been aware, but from that moment on, nothing was hidden anymore, and I think Jimmy finally felt some comfort in that. At least I hope he did.

I’m not sure what year it was but I remember a bunch of us attending a holiday party at the Horan home in Syosset. When we arrived, we were introduced to a friend of Christine’s named Lori. We had a great night, tons of laughs, tons of drinks, and the only thing more amazing than the food was the friends.

When we got on the LIRR to head back to Woodside I turned to Delia and asked, “When did Weeps and Lori start dating”? Delia had a look of shock and said what she often said to me…” You ass” followed by “How did you know”. I’m not sure how I knew, and I don’t think I was alone, but the important thing was that it felt right in every way. My only hope is that Weeps didn’t go out of her way and tell us that night because she felt comfortable enough with us and who she was, and that she didn’t think anything needed to be said. If she didn’t feel that way, and was in fact worried about telling us, then I feel bad, because we failed her as friends. One thing I do know is that we all loved attending their wedding, another great day with drinks, food and friends.

Progress is being made and I believe it’s evident that more people are feeling comfortable and feeling proud of who they are and who they love. Just last week Las Vegas Raiders Defensive linemen Carl Nassib became the first active NFL player to “come out”. I’m confident that the vast majority, if not all, of the men who share a locker room with him don’t have a problem with it. I’m hopeful that his is a message well received with those who struggle. Those who sometimes struggle with who they are (which they should never have to do), and those who struggle with how others may react….by the way which they should never have to do either.

This brings me to Ron Whitaker. Ron is my mother in laws cousin. I only met Ron for the first time nine years ago. That’s also the first time Mrs. Jacs and much of the family had heard from him since somewhere in the early 80’s, right after he and his wife divorced, and he moved to Texas. That’s ~40 years of not being in touch. Why? Because Ron was worried people wouldn’t accept him as a gay man. I know Ron didn’t have any regrets about his marriage as he has a daughter and two grandson’s that he had very close relationships with, but I do believe he regrets losing those ~40 years.

When Ron came into our lives in 2012, he did so with his Partner Bill who he married in 2015. He did so in a big way. First on social media and phone calls, and ultimately trips to visit family. He and Bill, The Bama Boys, had such great times visiting with so many of us. They spent weeks in New York City and partied it up big time. They made up for lost time and Ron often commented on how much he loved his family and being in touch with us all. He was so supportive of all of us and everything we did. I just wish he knew how supportive everyone would have been of him all these years.

Earlier this month Ron passed away. He was just 73 years old. He left behind Bill, his daughter Dana, and his two grandsons. He left behind so many more family members that loved him. He really wanted for him and Bill to return to NYC, but he never had the chance. That’s our loss.

So today, as we close out Pride month, as a proud ally, I share my support, I share my love. I do it because everyone should be able to feel Proud of who they love. I do it because nobody should forfeit more than half their life the way that Ron did.

So, good on you Carl Nassib. Good on you Jimmy Connor. Good on you Chris and Lori.

And, good on you Ron. Rest easy my friend, rest proudly.

As always, until next time, stay safe!

later,
dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"